Tottenham v Everton

[Major Clanger]

Got a mate who uses hair powder on a baldy head and another mate who’s had a transplant.

Tosun has got a transplant but continued to lose his hair so he’s filling it in with powder. Rooney does the same. Have a look at how thick his hair is at KO compared to when he comes off 👍🏻

Fucking hell.

I'm bald and I can't fathom why anyone would even be upset about it, let alone do these ridiculous things.

[Major Clanger]

So anyway, we were talking about this hair powder thing.

[Major Clanger]

Dusky Blond ?

Disappointing Brown is my original hair colour, so I'm looking for something in that area. Maybe Cracked Chestnut?

[Major Clanger]

The very fact that we're even debating the relative merits of Bolasie's game shows how far we've fallen.

[Major Clanger]

Why aren't they talking about how good son was?

See, he was the best player there but all they can talk about is Harry Kane because he scored a couple of tap ins.

And one of them was offside.

[Major Clanger]

I don't mind if we defend with 10 men for 90 minutes, hoping to nick a goal from a set piece, but let's do it properly then.

[Major Clanger]

This is the root of the issue.

I've gone to really liking the side under 1st season wonder Martinez (Lukaku, Barkley, Deulofeu, Stones, Coleman etc) to really...I don't know what this is. The concerning thing for me is, I've usually had a favourite player in whatever side we put out (or even a good handful at certain times...Cahill, Arteta, Pienaar, etc, etc), but I couldn't tell you who that is right now...and that feels weird.

I don't really exude excitement for any of these players lining up. I mean, I still like them generally speaking, and I still have respect for certain players like Jagielka...but it feels different at the moment. Overall that feels like a pretty sad statement to make as a fan.

Anyone else struggling to with a favourite player these days or just me?

There are very few players in our squad with a discernible character. Even if it's characteristic flaws, like Pienaar's mighty tackles, Cahill's silky one-touch passing, Yobo's concentration or Osman's legendary shooting power.

Instead we seem to have bought a bunch of bland, identikit meh-merchants. Maybe it feels that way because all the aforementioned players were also really good at something. There is a reason that players like Straq or Manny Fernandes are still idolised, and it isn't just that fans are stupid.