Me: Hi, my name is CB. Hey listen to me here for a second, Rooney forever, Schneiderlin never, ok? Got that?
RK: "I'm sorry, who is this again?"
Me: Ron, what would you say was your most effective substitution today?
RK: "Hmm... probably not Sandro coming on..."
Me: You're getting warmer! ... Listen to me, From now on, Rooney starts every game in place of Schneid, you absolute f***ing cantaloupe!!
RK: "Well, I thought Sean Dyche's Burnley played well... like Moyes's early Everton..."
Me: Ha! We're not replacing you with Sean Dyche...