If he does come it'll be a self-serving loan before his move to Atletico. Certainly won't be a loan. He hates England and didn't settle in London, he'd fucking hate somewhere more provincial. And he isn't fit so a short term loan seems like a waste of everyone's time. He had a chip on his shoulder when he was playing for the champions, imagine how much of a frustrated liability he'd be here?!
I don't know, I can see him living on a farm shouting at the cows and hassling the sheep. Or ploughing a field. I bet he'd love the havoc he could cause on a tractor.
But he's not signing for us, neither permanently nor on loan so all this country living talk is nothing more than a moo point.