Everton will – wait for it – play every other Premier League side. Twice. But not at the same time.
The season starts with an away trip to newly-promoted Wolves which will test Marco Silva as much as an away trip to a newly-promoted side will on the opening day of the season, and the first home game is against Liverpool’s feeder club, Southampton.
The Goodison derby is on March 2nd while the first derby of the season is in December for the third year in a row, courtesy of an entirely random selection process, obviously.
Everton end the season with a trip to Spurs’ new ground, which luckily for them, they will have settled into by then and will thrash us comfortably as our season will be over following Champions League qualification the week before against Burnley at Goodison Park.
Unfortunately, due to the Premier League and their guard dogs being determined that they can copyright what they claim to be a randomly generated list of fixtures, despite the European courts ruling they can’t, we can’t publish them here in full. And, thanks to the Brexit whoppers from Stoke and Sunderland, we never will be able to as European courts will soon have even less sway over this stuff than they currently do.