It’s been a difficult few weeks to be an Evertonian. OK, weeks was a positive spin, but the last few days have taken it up a notch that even Sam Allardyce and his snarling comments couldn’t top.
Stories have flooded WhatsApp group messages – often forwarded from someone with far too much time on their hands – which seem completely and utterly fantastical.
Probably because they are.
One story sounds more like a bad draft of a prequel to The Inbetweeners, in which Duncan Ferguson and Luis Boa Morte have a fight on the team bus after the Burnley game as all the players argue and Marco Silva sits and sulks.
Oddly, it seems the person who sent the message is the one who has screenshotted it and leaked it. Because that’s normal.
The other involves a truly David v’s Goliath story in which Fabian “toddler arms” Delph manages to deck Portuguese dreamboat Andre Gomes.
Granted, Ferguson and Boa Morte have history, from about 15 years ago. But do we really reckon Boa Morte sucker-punched him on the bus? Were they only just born when their initial spat kicked off?
Another forwarded message that’s going around focuses on the new stadium at Bramley Moore Dock, in which the sender’s boss’s brother-in-law’s mate is a structural engineer “or some shit” and says that the Blues have underestimated the costs of filling in the dock.
Seems totally legit.
However, until the fella at the burger van in Skem tells us they’re true, we’re not having them at all.