A little article that Mundial commissioned.
I wrote about my gf, first game, my dad and obsession with the blues.
Some may enjoy it!
https://www.goal.com/mundial/everton-my ... odiversity
Everton article I wrote
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sam of the south
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Re: Everton article I wrote
I love what it allowed me to read, Lizz.Audrey Horne wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2024 12:33 pm A little article that Mundial commissioned.
I wrote about my gf, first game, my dad and obsession with the blues.
Some may enjoy it!
https://www.goal.com/mundial/everton-my ... odiversity
Really well written.
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Audrey Horne
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Re: Everton article I wrote
Cheers mate xsam of the south wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2024 1:02 pm I love what it allowed me to read, Lizz.
Really well written.
Re: Everton article I wrote
Can you copy the full text and place in this thread?Audrey Horne wrote: ↑Sat Nov 09, 2024 12:33 pm A little article that Mundial commissioned.
I wrote about my gf, first game, my dad and obsession with the blues.
Some may enjoy it!
https://www.goal.com/mundial/everton-my ... odiversity
-
Audrey Horne
- Posts: 6083
- Location: 53.4389° N - 2.9662° W
- Karma: 2507
-
Audrey Horne
- Posts: 6083
- Location: 53.4389° N - 2.9662° W
- Karma: 2507
Re: Everton article I wrote
“Have you seen this?”
My girlfriend passes me her phone, and the latest statistics comparing Iliman Ndiaye to Erling Haaland flash on the screen.
Research from psychiatrist Sandra Kooij has shown that over 60% of individuals with ADHD experience hyperfocus when they are engaged in activities that are of personal interest. Roxy, who was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of 2022, didn’t used to find football statistics interesting, but since we started dating in February 2021, she has embraced the unpredictable intensity of football and, in particular, the harrowing disappointment that comes with being an Evertonian.
Our second date was on Merseyside derby day. I tried to act casual about it, merely mentioning that I would like to watch it if she didn’t mind. Inside, I was already crying uncontrollably as I braced myself for a 25th consecutive Anfield defeat—a continuation of 23 years of hurt. Three minutes into the game, Richarlison slotted with perfection. Roxy cheered, and I looked at her, wondering if she was the one. Ok, that is slightly theatrical, but we won the game, and it was fucking brilliant.
Over the following three years, Roxy developed a deep love for Everton—and I worry I have ruined her life. I am totally pessimistic about the club; I have been going to games since I was 7 years old, and the only constant theme throughout the following 28 years has been disappointment.
Roxy is the opposite to me in terms of how she supports the team. She is positive, and she embraces rubbish players because they are ‘at least having a go’. She latches onto those who aren’t the favourites, who are finding it hard to do anything right, missing chances and giving away goals (hello there, Michael Keane and Beto). She wants them to succeed so much, and it is inspiring to see her committed compassion towards others.
I have recently become interested in how someone like Roxy, a 36-year-old woman from Wigan, can feel a similar intense emotion that a 60-year-old scouser, Evertonian born and bred, does. Was it partly her neurodiversity that encouraged this obsession?
Over a few days, I researched how certain neurodiverse conditions can trigger familiar obsessive patterns and reached out to Aitch Mikhail, another neurodivergent football fanatic. Things made a little more sense after we spoke about their own ADHD diagnosis and how it affects the way they support their team. “I get very protective of my favourite players. I relate to them a lot, so it feels personal when people criticise their personalities,” Aitch said.
Roxy reacts similarly and will sympathise with the players who get a hard time for poor performances, showing empathy and taking insults to heart. Psychiatrist Dr William Dodson stated that 99% of people with ADHD report experiencing rejection sensitivity dysphoria to some degree, a condition that causes extreme emotion in response to perceived criticism or rejection. I frequently wonder if Roxy is experiencing second-hand emotion, almost feeling that criticism herself.
I often tell her about matches I have been to in the past, those hugely important life-altering games like Everton v Fiorentina (that Arteta goal when Goodison shook); Everton v United (night match, Big Dunc header, nothing better); Liverpool in the FA Cup (quarterfinals, Gosling pops up in the 118th minute to cause unhinged chaos in the stands).
I show her YouTube clips of ‘Goodison's greatest night’. Everton v Bayern Munich, 1985. Lump in my throat for the millionth time as we watch and listen together in silence. “It’s Trevor Steven, it’s settled now! Rotterdam, here they come,” goes the familiar drawl of Martin Tyler.
I tell Roxy that I can’t believe my dad was in that crowd, the sea of blue that swells and bursts at the seams. I think how desperately sad I am that he never met Roxy, that we connected six months after he died.
I go on to explain that the club is the epitome of community. How I got wellbeing phone calls from Everton in the Community during the loneliness of Covid and after my dad passed away. That they initiated a trailblazing mental health football league, the first-of-its-kind mental health and wellbeing hub attached to a football club. Everton also strive to tackle social deprivation and inequalities, support young people bereaved by suicide, and assist individuals with long-term health conditions.
She feels the love strongly, and I want nothing more than for the club to do well so she can experience some of the moments that I have. Since 2021, the whole time she has been a supporter, we have narrowly escaped relegation each season. It isn’t fun. It is stressful and heartbreaking and infuriating, all rolled into one crappy little package. But each week, she is ready to cheer them on and tell me to stop saying that Beto has never seen a football in his life.
This matches what Aitch told me when I asked them about how they manage the disappointing moments of being a fan: “I’m always excited for the game, even when other fans dread or resent going when the team isn’t winning, or it's a tough opponent. For live games, however disappointing the result, I can usually find some enjoyment and am often surprised when people say a game was boring when I found lots of things to enjoy.”
Unfortunately, stigma around mental health or neurodiversity has always been prevalent. To hear your favourite player express how they are feeling or what they are struggling with can be a very comforting experience for those who idolise them. Richarlison, a former Goodison hero, bravely opened up about nearly quitting football during a bout of depression in March 2024, while Safia Middleton-Patel spoke inspiringly about her autism diagnosis a year prior.
“I want to be that role model because, unfortunately, there is a negative stigma around autism,” the Manchester United Women goalkeeper said. “There is nothing different about it; we just see life a little bit differently. I just want to be there and announce it so people can be like, ‘I can do that, and just because I’ve got autism doesn’t mean I can’t make or do the things I want to do.’”
A survey conducted by Autism Speaks found that 86% of participants believed that celebrity advocacy helps reduce stigma around autism and neurodiversity. Safia discussing her own diagnosis with confidence and acceptance is a positive step as people like Roxy navigate the ever-changing world around them.
Being at the stadium to watch the games live can also be a difficult experience for people who are neurodivergent, with heightened sounds and sudden noise and movement liable to cause strong sensory overload.
My memories of those first few games 28 years ago are the smell of fried onions, horse shit, stale beer and ciggy smoke. The sounds are of intermittent chanting, ‘scuse me mate,’ a low buzzing of apprehensive chatter, horse hooves on tarmac, ‘When skies are grey, get ya programmes. Only a pound!’ I can almost feel my dad’s hand on my back as he guides me through the heaving crowd down Goodison Road, my scarf pulled close round my face to warm my freezing cheeks as the icy wind whips at us. The smell of vinegar hits me as we pass the Blue Dragon chippy.
To someone neurotypical, this is the experience you likely want: The build-up of emotion and expectation. But for people with ADHD or autism, this can be triggering and unbearably overwhelming.
Everton were one of the first Premier League clubs to introduce a sensory room for neurodiverse fans, creating a dedicated space which allows individuals to enjoy the match in a controlled environment. The room is designed to provide a calm space with reduced sensory stimulation while still offering a clear view of the pitch—yet another positive initiative from a club where prioritising fans' access needs, comfort, safety, and overall experience seems just as important as selling as much warm Carling as possible.
“If we didn’t have Everton, then you wouldn’t have flood lights or underground heating, nets in the goals or corner flags,” Roxy says defiantly as a work colleague mocks yet another humiliating defeat. She learnt that we are a club of ‘firsts’ when I took her to the Goodison Park tour for her birthday in August. She often tells me that she doesn’t think she is cut out to be an Evertonian; she tells me that you need to be hard and strong to support us.
I say that she’s one of the strongest people I know, navigating her mental health challenges, fighting for an ADHD diagnosis alongside an NHS that is on its knees, surviving a pandemic and a never-ending cost of living crisis.
I think she is definitely strong enough to be a blue. And I am so glad that she is.
My girlfriend passes me her phone, and the latest statistics comparing Iliman Ndiaye to Erling Haaland flash on the screen.
Research from psychiatrist Sandra Kooij has shown that over 60% of individuals with ADHD experience hyperfocus when they are engaged in activities that are of personal interest. Roxy, who was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of 2022, didn’t used to find football statistics interesting, but since we started dating in February 2021, she has embraced the unpredictable intensity of football and, in particular, the harrowing disappointment that comes with being an Evertonian.
Our second date was on Merseyside derby day. I tried to act casual about it, merely mentioning that I would like to watch it if she didn’t mind. Inside, I was already crying uncontrollably as I braced myself for a 25th consecutive Anfield defeat—a continuation of 23 years of hurt. Three minutes into the game, Richarlison slotted with perfection. Roxy cheered, and I looked at her, wondering if she was the one. Ok, that is slightly theatrical, but we won the game, and it was fucking brilliant.
Over the following three years, Roxy developed a deep love for Everton—and I worry I have ruined her life. I am totally pessimistic about the club; I have been going to games since I was 7 years old, and the only constant theme throughout the following 28 years has been disappointment.
Roxy is the opposite to me in terms of how she supports the team. She is positive, and she embraces rubbish players because they are ‘at least having a go’. She latches onto those who aren’t the favourites, who are finding it hard to do anything right, missing chances and giving away goals (hello there, Michael Keane and Beto). She wants them to succeed so much, and it is inspiring to see her committed compassion towards others.
I have recently become interested in how someone like Roxy, a 36-year-old woman from Wigan, can feel a similar intense emotion that a 60-year-old scouser, Evertonian born and bred, does. Was it partly her neurodiversity that encouraged this obsession?
Over a few days, I researched how certain neurodiverse conditions can trigger familiar obsessive patterns and reached out to Aitch Mikhail, another neurodivergent football fanatic. Things made a little more sense after we spoke about their own ADHD diagnosis and how it affects the way they support their team. “I get very protective of my favourite players. I relate to them a lot, so it feels personal when people criticise their personalities,” Aitch said.
Roxy reacts similarly and will sympathise with the players who get a hard time for poor performances, showing empathy and taking insults to heart. Psychiatrist Dr William Dodson stated that 99% of people with ADHD report experiencing rejection sensitivity dysphoria to some degree, a condition that causes extreme emotion in response to perceived criticism or rejection. I frequently wonder if Roxy is experiencing second-hand emotion, almost feeling that criticism herself.
I often tell her about matches I have been to in the past, those hugely important life-altering games like Everton v Fiorentina (that Arteta goal when Goodison shook); Everton v United (night match, Big Dunc header, nothing better); Liverpool in the FA Cup (quarterfinals, Gosling pops up in the 118th minute to cause unhinged chaos in the stands).
I show her YouTube clips of ‘Goodison's greatest night’. Everton v Bayern Munich, 1985. Lump in my throat for the millionth time as we watch and listen together in silence. “It’s Trevor Steven, it’s settled now! Rotterdam, here they come,” goes the familiar drawl of Martin Tyler.
I tell Roxy that I can’t believe my dad was in that crowd, the sea of blue that swells and bursts at the seams. I think how desperately sad I am that he never met Roxy, that we connected six months after he died.
I go on to explain that the club is the epitome of community. How I got wellbeing phone calls from Everton in the Community during the loneliness of Covid and after my dad passed away. That they initiated a trailblazing mental health football league, the first-of-its-kind mental health and wellbeing hub attached to a football club. Everton also strive to tackle social deprivation and inequalities, support young people bereaved by suicide, and assist individuals with long-term health conditions.
She feels the love strongly, and I want nothing more than for the club to do well so she can experience some of the moments that I have. Since 2021, the whole time she has been a supporter, we have narrowly escaped relegation each season. It isn’t fun. It is stressful and heartbreaking and infuriating, all rolled into one crappy little package. But each week, she is ready to cheer them on and tell me to stop saying that Beto has never seen a football in his life.
This matches what Aitch told me when I asked them about how they manage the disappointing moments of being a fan: “I’m always excited for the game, even when other fans dread or resent going when the team isn’t winning, or it's a tough opponent. For live games, however disappointing the result, I can usually find some enjoyment and am often surprised when people say a game was boring when I found lots of things to enjoy.”
Unfortunately, stigma around mental health or neurodiversity has always been prevalent. To hear your favourite player express how they are feeling or what they are struggling with can be a very comforting experience for those who idolise them. Richarlison, a former Goodison hero, bravely opened up about nearly quitting football during a bout of depression in March 2024, while Safia Middleton-Patel spoke inspiringly about her autism diagnosis a year prior.
“I want to be that role model because, unfortunately, there is a negative stigma around autism,” the Manchester United Women goalkeeper said. “There is nothing different about it; we just see life a little bit differently. I just want to be there and announce it so people can be like, ‘I can do that, and just because I’ve got autism doesn’t mean I can’t make or do the things I want to do.’”
A survey conducted by Autism Speaks found that 86% of participants believed that celebrity advocacy helps reduce stigma around autism and neurodiversity. Safia discussing her own diagnosis with confidence and acceptance is a positive step as people like Roxy navigate the ever-changing world around them.
Being at the stadium to watch the games live can also be a difficult experience for people who are neurodivergent, with heightened sounds and sudden noise and movement liable to cause strong sensory overload.
My memories of those first few games 28 years ago are the smell of fried onions, horse shit, stale beer and ciggy smoke. The sounds are of intermittent chanting, ‘scuse me mate,’ a low buzzing of apprehensive chatter, horse hooves on tarmac, ‘When skies are grey, get ya programmes. Only a pound!’ I can almost feel my dad’s hand on my back as he guides me through the heaving crowd down Goodison Road, my scarf pulled close round my face to warm my freezing cheeks as the icy wind whips at us. The smell of vinegar hits me as we pass the Blue Dragon chippy.
To someone neurotypical, this is the experience you likely want: The build-up of emotion and expectation. But for people with ADHD or autism, this can be triggering and unbearably overwhelming.
Everton were one of the first Premier League clubs to introduce a sensory room for neurodiverse fans, creating a dedicated space which allows individuals to enjoy the match in a controlled environment. The room is designed to provide a calm space with reduced sensory stimulation while still offering a clear view of the pitch—yet another positive initiative from a club where prioritising fans' access needs, comfort, safety, and overall experience seems just as important as selling as much warm Carling as possible.
“If we didn’t have Everton, then you wouldn’t have flood lights or underground heating, nets in the goals or corner flags,” Roxy says defiantly as a work colleague mocks yet another humiliating defeat. She learnt that we are a club of ‘firsts’ when I took her to the Goodison Park tour for her birthday in August. She often tells me that she doesn’t think she is cut out to be an Evertonian; she tells me that you need to be hard and strong to support us.
I say that she’s one of the strongest people I know, navigating her mental health challenges, fighting for an ADHD diagnosis alongside an NHS that is on its knees, surviving a pandemic and a never-ending cost of living crisis.
I think she is definitely strong enough to be a blue. And I am so glad that she is.
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sam of the south
- Posts: 1914
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Audrey Horne
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Re: Everton article I wrote
Not only brilliant but also quite beautiful and moving. Both our kids are “on the spectrum”, the first game I took them to was versus Villa. My son (9) never went back, the noise and the crowds overwhelmed him. By contrast, my daughter (8) loves it and even now, 20 years little takes my season ticket when possible and loves that she knows the names of everyone around while I can’t remember them!
Thanks for this Lizz, love to Roxy.
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sam of the south
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Re: Everton article I wrote
It’s not only well written, but it has soul, so it has some proper gut punches.
All our kids are neurodiverse, so I really felt it, and my dad is getting on and he took me to every Brighton home game in my early life (it’s where I first met Everton), so yeah, I get it all.
Big love to yourself & Roxy, and RIP to your dad
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Audrey Horne
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CannockPricey
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Re: Everton article I wrote
Lizz,
That is brilliantly written. Sam put it better than me but I can identify with a lot of that. I've had a few run ins with my mental health but am doing pretty well now for a while.
The swimming against the tide bit I get though. I have rooted and rooted for unpopular players to turn it round too and I find myself reproaching myself for not wanting BMD to come any more quickly. Goodison is where my Dad took me and my sister. We've never had season tickets but we always get up to several a season and have our match day routines that remind us of those childhood days in a way BMD never will (even though it makes total sense).
Anyway, rambling now but yeah, beautifully and thoughtfully written.
That is brilliantly written. Sam put it better than me but I can identify with a lot of that. I've had a few run ins with my mental health but am doing pretty well now for a while.
The swimming against the tide bit I get though. I have rooted and rooted for unpopular players to turn it round too and I find myself reproaching myself for not wanting BMD to come any more quickly. Goodison is where my Dad took me and my sister. We've never had season tickets but we always get up to several a season and have our match day routines that remind us of those childhood days in a way BMD never will (even though it makes total sense).
Anyway, rambling now but yeah, beautifully and thoughtfully written.
In a world full of adversity, we must still dare to dream.
Re: Everton article I wrote
It's a great read Lizz, painted for me an emotive, interesting, warm and relateable picture. Skilled stuff. Appreciate you sharing it.